Wat do I write about.
I have noting to write
Just want to type something
Coz m so bored to work
Haven’t slpt tfor three days
Haven’t for three nites
Was watching movies on mini’s laptop
All those on whom I laid my sight
Movies are good
Movies are fine
They help you spend money
they halp you spend time
still haven’t found the topic
on wat do I write
I still fel so sleepy
I wonder how I type
Ranu suggested to write on him
He being such a dude
But have no flow of vthoughts today
Sorry ranu fro being so rude
Then I asked yamini
She being such a pro
Why did I even ask her
she never understands nething in one go
just thought of pri
with a wonderful scarf
who hasn’t read my previous blog
to her I dedicate this paragraph
oh rudy ,oh rudy
goes the gal next door
but he is busy looking at someone else
rudy always yearns for more….
Rvd is not well toady
I drove him to the work place
On pri’s activa
On wat pace!!!
I asked for rhying words for office
And ranu replied kavis
He said,“bad people it means”
He being one of them in jeans.
After a long break,
I resume my poem writing
KP left for the day
I know tahts not rhyming
My typing still sucks
I still feel sio sleepy
Its Friday evening
I should be freaky
Going Mumbai tomo
Wat a day I have selcted
Its 6th of dec
I guess you have the link connected
I want ti wrie about debo
He also sits in sdb2 na
But when I call him in the poem
He says “aami ashbo na”….
M writing all this
Coz I have nothing better to do
I am so fed up today
Feel like hitting you
Hitting se yaad aaya
sahadevan also is in sdb2
Though he keeps shifting here n there
But I better mention him too
Ranu added:
I keep calling maloo 4 coffee
She keeps saying she’s busy
But time and again she updates this poem,
I feel there’s something dodgy..
Coffee wil wake her up
But all she wants is more sleep
She doesn’t want to get up
Keeps lying in the chair like a heap……
Its me back again
And today, I resume my writing,
Will be making a few more statements.
But wil require your help Dam,
With your amazing witty comments.
Finally I mention Avinash
Who was left for the last
He is under a work crash
Working so hard since the past.
Hey Soumo Shital amit
Who work till the end of their wits
Thanks for reading till the end
Though you guys didn’t have time to spend
With this I’d like to end
Not too much time I spend
Next week there’ll be more
Till then, that’s it from SDB2 Level 4….
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
To the close one
Yeh na jaane kiss mode pe aa ruki hai zindagi,
Ek dost ki talaash mein hai yeh zindagi.
Woh jo gum hua, na jaane kahan,
Ussi ki panah phir dhoonde yeh zindagi.
Pal pal laage hai bhaari,
Suna suna laage yeh mann.
Kyun is dil mein machi hai khalbali,
Yeh na jaane kiss mode pe aa ruki hai zindagi.
Karna chahoon baaten hazar,
Milna chahoon usse baar baar.
Magar kyun laage hai aisa ki tham si gayi yeh ghadi,
Yeh na jaane kiss mode pe aa ruki hai zindagi.
Jaane kab yeh lamha beetega,
Jaane kab hoge din phir rangeen.
Jaane kab phir hogi roshni,
Aur tab chal padegi phir yeh zindagi.
--Maloo
Kuch Kum Roshan Hai Roshni, Kuch Kum Gili Hai Baarishein..
Kuch Kum Lehrathi Hai Hawa, Kuch Kum Hai Dil Mein Kwahishein..
Tham Sa Gaya Hai, Yeh Waqt Aise, Tere Liya Hi Tehra Ho Jaise..
Ek dost ki talaash mein hai yeh zindagi.
Woh jo gum hua, na jaane kahan,
Ussi ki panah phir dhoonde yeh zindagi.
Pal pal laage hai bhaari,
Suna suna laage yeh mann.
Kyun is dil mein machi hai khalbali,
Yeh na jaane kiss mode pe aa ruki hai zindagi.
Karna chahoon baaten hazar,
Milna chahoon usse baar baar.
Magar kyun laage hai aisa ki tham si gayi yeh ghadi,
Yeh na jaane kiss mode pe aa ruki hai zindagi.
Jaane kab yeh lamha beetega,
Jaane kab hoge din phir rangeen.
Jaane kab phir hogi roshni,
Aur tab chal padegi phir yeh zindagi.
--Maloo
Kuch Kum Roshan Hai Roshni, Kuch Kum Gili Hai Baarishein..
Kuch Kum Lehrathi Hai Hawa, Kuch Kum Hai Dil Mein Kwahishein..
Tham Sa Gaya Hai, Yeh Waqt Aise, Tere Liya Hi Tehra Ho Jaise..
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Close to loosing it entirely…. :)
Ohhh man !!! wat a nite it was!!! So eventful yet so peaceful….memories so hazy, yet so clear….It was exactly two months back ..September 19th… the nite I came so close to loosing it entirely.
It all began with a usual evening chain mail discussing the Friday nite plan. Unusually this time all hands were up at one shot without any “choo chan choo chan ” from neone. So after an hour long discussion over the mails about the transport and everything (which took less than the expected time) all were ready to rock n roll…
Manji took the lead here as he was more experienced than any of us. “Sab wahan time se pohunch jana. Baaki ka mein sambhaal loonga!” . “ Magar mera thoda loccha hai Manji yaar”. “Ek THAPPAD padega na tab samajh mein aayega”.
I had to go home and get dressed. At least I should look good when I loose it. In case any photos or videos were to be taken (not that people would concentrate on wat make up or clothes I was wearing that nite) I should at least look me. And then Debo goes “Abbe tum ladkiyon ko taiyaar kyun hona hota hai re? Hum log toh bas ek jeans aur T shirt pehna, deo lagaya toh lagaya nahi toh woh bhi nahi. Bas! Hogaye taiyaar. Tum logon ka toh natak hi rehta hai”.
While I was driving to the venue, my stomach was so full of butterflies. Was so totally excited that I felt like reaching the place instantly. But had to drive carefully and slowly so that my hair do did not spoil.
And so I finally reached the place. The nite that I had been waiting for all my life was finally here. And I finally laid my first step to adulthood. The ambience was just as I had imagined. They had indeed taken care. Music being played in the background. Everyone enjoying themselves, getting comfortable. I made sure there was enough protection so that no body would have to face the consequence. I was told by my well wishers not to get wild, because that was not how it is in Indian cities.
So we directly got down to business. Discussing whos with whom. Seeking help from the maestros and pros. Finally we decided to make it through shots. I was about to take the first step towards losing it. I could feel the Adrenaline Rush!! I also wanted to make sure that we posed the right way, so that all kind of indecency was avoided. The first shot was deliberately slow, but once it went in completely, it was divine, a bit Painful but divine! It is fair to experience some pain to gain pleasure. The pleasure was inexplicable. I asked for more! The second was better, I was getting used to that feeling. I was loving it. I felt as if my life was finally complete. With tears in my eyes but a sweet smile on my face I kept asking for more. The more I had the more I kept wanting. Fighting with others for my share of fun, shouting while having it, is all wat I remember after that.
And then I thought I should stop, I had almost lost it…
They say, “It is not integrity but lack of opportunity.”
I had the opportunity and I lost "it". never to be found again.
It kept coming and I enjoyed every moment of it....... until I puked. All that had gone in came out. But the pleasure still remained... the pleasure of being the king (queen) of the world, the moment of loosing my senses completely. And thus ended the most amazing date of my life at Apache with Mr. Alcohol!!!
It all began with a usual evening chain mail discussing the Friday nite plan. Unusually this time all hands were up at one shot without any “choo chan choo chan ” from neone. So after an hour long discussion over the mails about the transport and everything (which took less than the expected time) all were ready to rock n roll…
Manji took the lead here as he was more experienced than any of us. “Sab wahan time se pohunch jana. Baaki ka mein sambhaal loonga!” . “ Magar mera thoda loccha hai Manji yaar”. “Ek THAPPAD padega na tab samajh mein aayega”.
I had to go home and get dressed. At least I should look good when I loose it. In case any photos or videos were to be taken (not that people would concentrate on wat make up or clothes I was wearing that nite) I should at least look me. And then Debo goes “Abbe tum ladkiyon ko taiyaar kyun hona hota hai re? Hum log toh bas ek jeans aur T shirt pehna, deo lagaya toh lagaya nahi toh woh bhi nahi. Bas! Hogaye taiyaar. Tum logon ka toh natak hi rehta hai”.
While I was driving to the venue, my stomach was so full of butterflies. Was so totally excited that I felt like reaching the place instantly. But had to drive carefully and slowly so that my hair do did not spoil.
And so I finally reached the place. The nite that I had been waiting for all my life was finally here. And I finally laid my first step to adulthood. The ambience was just as I had imagined. They had indeed taken care. Music being played in the background. Everyone enjoying themselves, getting comfortable. I made sure there was enough protection so that no body would have to face the consequence. I was told by my well wishers not to get wild, because that was not how it is in Indian cities.
So we directly got down to business. Discussing whos with whom. Seeking help from the maestros and pros. Finally we decided to make it through shots. I was about to take the first step towards losing it. I could feel the Adrenaline Rush!! I also wanted to make sure that we posed the right way, so that all kind of indecency was avoided. The first shot was deliberately slow, but once it went in completely, it was divine, a bit Painful but divine! It is fair to experience some pain to gain pleasure. The pleasure was inexplicable. I asked for more! The second was better, I was getting used to that feeling. I was loving it. I felt as if my life was finally complete. With tears in my eyes but a sweet smile on my face I kept asking for more. The more I had the more I kept wanting. Fighting with others for my share of fun, shouting while having it, is all wat I remember after that.
And then I thought I should stop, I had almost lost it…
They say, “It is not integrity but lack of opportunity.”
I had the opportunity and I lost "it". never to be found again.
It kept coming and I enjoyed every moment of it....... until I puked. All that had gone in came out. But the pleasure still remained... the pleasure of being the king (queen) of the world, the moment of loosing my senses completely. And thus ended the most amazing date of my life at Apache with Mr. Alcohol!!!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Never let the child in you die
After reading varu’s blog, a thought just struck my mind, “Even I have a blog profile.. wat on earth happened to that??”
After minutes of pondering on my profile name I finally remembered wat it was. Wat a stupid and kiddish name. A slogan that I had come up with in my ninth std. summer vacation when I was suddenly bombarded with hell lot of tuition classes and much more pressure of scoring high. God!!! Wat a rebel I was that time. The poster area above my study table was so full not with trigonometry charts but with anti study thoughts, slogans made deliberately against parents, drawings on so called “child shoshan”. I was just like. But life was so simple that time. No client deliveries to make you uneasy, no conf calls to knock your head off.
Good old days. All those play times in the evening, sitting on the compound walls of the building and yapping with friends for hours, checking out all the boys from head to toe, hush hush giggles when they pass by, stealing mangoes and ber from the neighbors apartment during summers, those unforgettable sessions of books covering during the end of summer vacations, quietly sneaking out with my brothers bicycle and going on long rides with friends, the dubba parties on the terrace that later on was tailored to a sophisticated high class Get Together, sneaking out to an under construction building and getting horrible punished for the same, cursing the uncle who leaked out the information to dad and then punishing him in whatever way possible by tampering with his vehicle, ringing his doorbell and running away, never listen to wat mom says, always on watch and never missing out a single opportunity to get my bro scolded and then fighting with him and play the famous blame game. Gosh!!!!! So many thing that I even forgot about.(but will be surely reminded of when my friends post comments on this article J)
Then came the college days…my first encounter with boys (did I mention I was in a gals school??). The first interaction was when the entire class was punished for something I don’t remember now (something real stupid I know….. post needed here too….). Then began the wonderful series of my life called “proposals”. Me having crushes on guys. But then wrong guys having crushes on me. I remember this one time somewhere around the end of twelfth std where everybody in the group had crush on someone or the other. Long love chains being formed just like the one in the song called………… by Kailash Kher.
The Engineering college was fun too. The first day in a graduation college, the horrible dress code for freshers, the ragging, then slowly getting to know the seniors, enjoying classes in the canteen, the sport weeks, the installation of the years students council, the college annual functions, the technical events, staying back late in college for the organization of events, the open air theaters, dancing sessions, fights between the hostelites and localits.
Now when I look back I cannot stop laughing. And as they say “when you think of the past and laugh on yourself, you know you’ve outgrown the age of being a child”.
These last few months were really very strange for me. Everybody suddenly were expecting too much out of me. You should stop all your masti now, its high time you get formal, now that you have started working, learn to be moderate in whatever you do ( otherwise m known to be an extremist), be professional. To the point that this rakhi my brother got me a totally so called formal and professional watch (the truth is… there was a discount on the Titan range of Raga…. J) which was accompanied with a long sermon about how I have to change now, that in a few days from now I’ll be having a family to raise and I cant continue to be the same old me who doesn’t even brush her teeth daily.( I do now….. though after my bath…. But regularly I do).
This whole thing about being formal is way beyond the scope of my thoughts. Who says one has to be very serious and sophisticated all the time. We should just let our mind and soul free. Lets do whatever we want to, whenever we want to and the way we want to. According to a Marathi film “Ek Anaud Diwas” (A Different Day), if we live one complete day setting our minds and hearts free once a month, we increase our life span at least by ten years. They why not do it always? Why only once a month?
I try to practice this as much as possible in my life. And whosoever is reading the blog knows the result of it.
Funny observation: Even the most “formal” watch gifted by my big B (which has three golden stripes on either sides of the dial) has two stripes which are not straight. Wat I inferred from this was, you don’t always have to do wat is expected. According to the book called Games People Play by Eric Berne, every human being has a parent a child and an adult in him. The adult always tries to dominate the child and in most of the cases it wins. Set the child in you free. Let the child in you dominate for some time. Do the unexpected and you’ll see the magik…..keep rocking!!!!!
After minutes of pondering on my profile name I finally remembered wat it was. Wat a stupid and kiddish name. A slogan that I had come up with in my ninth std. summer vacation when I was suddenly bombarded with hell lot of tuition classes and much more pressure of scoring high. God!!! Wat a rebel I was that time. The poster area above my study table was so full not with trigonometry charts but with anti study thoughts, slogans made deliberately against parents, drawings on so called “child shoshan”. I was just like. But life was so simple that time. No client deliveries to make you uneasy, no conf calls to knock your head off.
Good old days. All those play times in the evening, sitting on the compound walls of the building and yapping with friends for hours, checking out all the boys from head to toe, hush hush giggles when they pass by, stealing mangoes and ber from the neighbors apartment during summers, those unforgettable sessions of books covering during the end of summer vacations, quietly sneaking out with my brothers bicycle and going on long rides with friends, the dubba parties on the terrace that later on was tailored to a sophisticated high class Get Together, sneaking out to an under construction building and getting horrible punished for the same, cursing the uncle who leaked out the information to dad and then punishing him in whatever way possible by tampering with his vehicle, ringing his doorbell and running away, never listen to wat mom says, always on watch and never missing out a single opportunity to get my bro scolded and then fighting with him and play the famous blame game. Gosh!!!!! So many thing that I even forgot about.(but will be surely reminded of when my friends post comments on this article J)
Then came the college days…my first encounter with boys (did I mention I was in a gals school??). The first interaction was when the entire class was punished for something I don’t remember now (something real stupid I know….. post needed here too….). Then began the wonderful series of my life called “proposals”. Me having crushes on guys. But then wrong guys having crushes on me. I remember this one time somewhere around the end of twelfth std where everybody in the group had crush on someone or the other. Long love chains being formed just like the one in the song called………… by Kailash Kher.
The Engineering college was fun too. The first day in a graduation college, the horrible dress code for freshers, the ragging, then slowly getting to know the seniors, enjoying classes in the canteen, the sport weeks, the installation of the years students council, the college annual functions, the technical events, staying back late in college for the organization of events, the open air theaters, dancing sessions, fights between the hostelites and localits.
Now when I look back I cannot stop laughing. And as they say “when you think of the past and laugh on yourself, you know you’ve outgrown the age of being a child”.
These last few months were really very strange for me. Everybody suddenly were expecting too much out of me. You should stop all your masti now, its high time you get formal, now that you have started working, learn to be moderate in whatever you do ( otherwise m known to be an extremist), be professional. To the point that this rakhi my brother got me a totally so called formal and professional watch (the truth is… there was a discount on the Titan range of Raga…. J) which was accompanied with a long sermon about how I have to change now, that in a few days from now I’ll be having a family to raise and I cant continue to be the same old me who doesn’t even brush her teeth daily.( I do now….. though after my bath…. But regularly I do).
This whole thing about being formal is way beyond the scope of my thoughts. Who says one has to be very serious and sophisticated all the time. We should just let our mind and soul free. Lets do whatever we want to, whenever we want to and the way we want to. According to a Marathi film “Ek Anaud Diwas” (A Different Day), if we live one complete day setting our minds and hearts free once a month, we increase our life span at least by ten years. They why not do it always? Why only once a month?
I try to practice this as much as possible in my life. And whosoever is reading the blog knows the result of it.
Funny observation: Even the most “formal” watch gifted by my big B (which has three golden stripes on either sides of the dial) has two stripes which are not straight. Wat I inferred from this was, you don’t always have to do wat is expected. According to the book called Games People Play by Eric Berne, every human being has a parent a child and an adult in him. The adult always tries to dominate the child and in most of the cases it wins. Set the child in you free. Let the child in you dominate for some time. Do the unexpected and you’ll see the magik…..keep rocking!!!!!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
expectations
Expectations…
Why do we have expectations. Expectations from people, expectation from life, to the point of having expectations from God Himself.
I sometimes feel, in order to make a relation work , we should not have any expectations from it. It is this expectations that leads to all problems. We expect the other person to understand us even when nothing is said. A child, when young, expects the mother to understand his every action. And in turn when the mother grows old, expects her child to understand all her needs. A teacher expects his student to perform. But is disappointed when he doesn’t. a PM expects the team members to perform but he himself may not meet the expectations of the team members.
If, in a relation, we do not expect anything in return, isn’t that relation supposed to last long? We just give to the relation for making it work. And when we get something in return, it will be as a bonus. So don’t think high. Keep a low profile and be happy in whatever you get!!!!
But then sometimes I feel this is not the case.
We have different types of relations. Some are close to our hearts, some are just acquaintances, some we don’t even bother to care about. Wat is it that makes this distinction between the relations? Isn’t it the close bond that we share. The bond that is developed when two people completely understand each other and do not have to use words for communicating. Then wat is wrong if I expect someone to totally understand wat I am feeling at the moment. To react in a way that would not aggravate the situation. Well these are the people who I think as my own, and I feel there is no harm in wanting them to behave in a particular manner.
Then wat should one do??? Have expectations or not!!!!!!!
Why do we have expectations. Expectations from people, expectation from life, to the point of having expectations from God Himself.
I sometimes feel, in order to make a relation work , we should not have any expectations from it. It is this expectations that leads to all problems. We expect the other person to understand us even when nothing is said. A child, when young, expects the mother to understand his every action. And in turn when the mother grows old, expects her child to understand all her needs. A teacher expects his student to perform. But is disappointed when he doesn’t. a PM expects the team members to perform but he himself may not meet the expectations of the team members.
If, in a relation, we do not expect anything in return, isn’t that relation supposed to last long? We just give to the relation for making it work. And when we get something in return, it will be as a bonus. So don’t think high. Keep a low profile and be happy in whatever you get!!!!
But then sometimes I feel this is not the case.
We have different types of relations. Some are close to our hearts, some are just acquaintances, some we don’t even bother to care about. Wat is it that makes this distinction between the relations? Isn’t it the close bond that we share. The bond that is developed when two people completely understand each other and do not have to use words for communicating. Then wat is wrong if I expect someone to totally understand wat I am feeling at the moment. To react in a way that would not aggravate the situation. Well these are the people who I think as my own, and I feel there is no harm in wanting them to behave in a particular manner.
Then wat should one do??? Have expectations or not!!!!!!!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
love vs friendship
Wats th difference between love and friendship? Aren’t they the same??
I often get confused between the two. Isint love there in friendship or isint friendship there in love??? I love my friends and the person who I love is my friend. Then wat is it that makes them different…
Many believe that love is the basis of all relations. Shouldn’t that be friendship? Take any relation and it begins with friendship. The understanding between the siblings is developed because they are friends with each other. The teacher student relation is built because the teacher understands the student as a friend would. The mother understands the child because she gets down to the level of the child and tries to make the child feel comfortable and be friends with him. Even the great love stories like “ Laila Majnu “, began with friendship that blossomed in their early days.
I feel I often mistake love with friendship. When we say we are looking for true love, do we actually mean that we are looking for a true friend to share everything we have? The good and the bad both. They are so mingled. How do you differentiate between the two?
I often get confused between the two. Isint love there in friendship or isint friendship there in love??? I love my friends and the person who I love is my friend. Then wat is it that makes them different…
Many believe that love is the basis of all relations. Shouldn’t that be friendship? Take any relation and it begins with friendship. The understanding between the siblings is developed because they are friends with each other. The teacher student relation is built because the teacher understands the student as a friend would. The mother understands the child because she gets down to the level of the child and tries to make the child feel comfortable and be friends with him. Even the great love stories like “ Laila Majnu “, began with friendship that blossomed in their early days.
I feel I often mistake love with friendship. When we say we are looking for true love, do we actually mean that we are looking for a true friend to share everything we have? The good and the bad both. They are so mingled. How do you differentiate between the two?
trust
What can be done.
i was doing something and I knew it was wrong.
But took utmost care that things go well.
But someone broke my trust. Didn’t even imagine it would have such a grave impact.
I want to know who and where things went wrong. But cannot do it. It might worsen the situation. Have to stand helplessly and be a victim to what ever happened. Feels pathetic.
I want this to end but donno how….
This trust thing out of my mind. I trust anyone and every one. i am good ( not praising my self here) and expect that people are good too. Never understand wat game the other one is playing.
I can never judge wat to say , when to say , whom to say, how to say…
All these things never come to my mind.
Its just that I know something and I want people around me also to know wats in my mind…
And so go about telling people about each and everything that happens “ life is an open book “…
Why cant I just keep my mouth shut.
Is it bad to be frank with people? All this while I always felt that whatever is in your mind you should just let it out. So that no hard feelings in the heart and you can let go and move on…
i was doing something and I knew it was wrong.
But took utmost care that things go well.
But someone broke my trust. Didn’t even imagine it would have such a grave impact.
I want to know who and where things went wrong. But cannot do it. It might worsen the situation. Have to stand helplessly and be a victim to what ever happened. Feels pathetic.
I want this to end but donno how….
This trust thing out of my mind. I trust anyone and every one. i am good ( not praising my self here) and expect that people are good too. Never understand wat game the other one is playing.
I can never judge wat to say , when to say , whom to say, how to say…
All these things never come to my mind.
Its just that I know something and I want people around me also to know wats in my mind…
And so go about telling people about each and everything that happens “ life is an open book “…
Why cant I just keep my mouth shut.
Is it bad to be frank with people? All this while I always felt that whatever is in your mind you should just let it out. So that no hard feelings in the heart and you can let go and move on…
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